Broken Bobby: When Shame Whispers “You’re Fundamentally Broken”

If you’ve ever felt like there’s something irreparably wrong with you—like everyone else received the “normal human manual” and you were absent that day—this one’s for you.

That feeling? That deep, aching belief that you’re defective?

I call him Broken Bobby. He’s one of the sneakiest shame gremlins I know.

Broken Bobby whispers "you're defective" at every turn.

In the latest episode of Thinking Out Loud, I introduced Broken Bobby and shared how he showed up in my own life for years.

My Story with Broken Bobby

He first crashed into my life senior year of high school. Depression hit like a truck. I forgot how to smile—not just the facial movement, but how to feel the smile inside.

In 2007, no one in my world talked about mental health. So I had no language for it. All I knew was: something is fundamentally wrong with me.

That belief followed me into college, heavier than ever. I’d sit in lecture halls convinced I was the only one drowning while everyone else floated effortlessly. I cried alone between classes, isolated, certain I was defective.

Then my 20s. I became a therapist (ironic, right?). I was dieting, exercising, journaling, traveling the world, playing music—literally living childhood dreams. And the depression didn’t lift. If anything, it burned deeper.

I thought: I’m doing everything “right” and I’m still broken. There must be something irreparably wrong with me.

I’d sit in my own therapy sessions unpacking this exact belief… and leave feeling like the evidence was undeniable.

Until the goat showed up.

The first time I bleated Shaaa-ame at Bobby, I laughed through tears. Because the truth bomb hit like sunlight: I wasn’t broken. I was undiagnosed, grieving, and carrying way more than any human should have to carry alone.

I was battle-scarred… but still whole.

Today, when Bobby whispers “see, still defective,” my goat is louder: Shaaa-ame 🐐 I am human, not broken.

And I feel deep gratitude for every scar—because they’re proof I not only survived, but learned how to grow stronger and better because of them.

How Broken Bobby Shows Up (Do Any of These Sound Familiar?)

He’s sneaky. He doesn’t always scream—he whispers just loud enough to keep you small.

Here are some of the most common ways he appears:

• You feel like everyone else has their life together, but you’re the only one who’s a mess inside.

• You can’t fully enjoy happy moments because you’re braced, waiting for “proof” that you’re actually defective.

• You avoid deep relationships because if people really knew you, they’d see how broken you are.

• You over-explain or over-apologize constantly, assuming people are secretly judging your flaws.

• You live feeling one small mistake away from everyone finally realizing you’re “not normal.”

Any of those hit? If yes, take a breath. You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

The Goat Tool: Your Daily Weapon Against Broken Bobby

The beauty of the Gremlins & Goats framework is its simplicity. You don’t need years of therapy to start shifting shame today (though therapy helps, obviously—I’m a therapist).

When Bobby starts the “something’s wrong with me” loop:

1. Bleat it out loud (yes, actually make the sound—it interrupts the shame spiral): Shaaa-ame 🐐 (Make it goat-ish. Have fun with it. Shame hates being mocked.)

2. Drop a big truth bomb. Some of my favorites:

   • I’m human, not broken.

   • I’m battle-scarred and still whole.

   • My scars are proof I survived and grew.

3. Name three ways you are beautifully human out loud. Examples:

   • I feel deeply.

   • I care fiercely.

   • I keep showing up even when it’s hard.

This practice turns toxic shame into gratitude for the full human experience. It’s not bypassing pain—it’s holding it with compassion.

From Shame to Strength: What’s Possible on the Other Side

When Broken Bobby quiets down, something beautiful happens.

You stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You let yourself be seen—scars and all.

You take up space without apology.

You feel joy without bracing for proof you don’t deserve it.

You start living like the whole, worthy human you’ve always been.

Your Next Steps (Because You Don’t Have to Do This Alone)

If Broken Bobby is loud right now:

1. Start small and free → Take the Gremlins & Goats quiz at LighthouseOKC.com. You’ll get a personalized gremlin report + a 7-day email sequence to begin starving shame today.

2. Go deeper → Join the full Gremlins & Goats mini-course. It includes:

   • The complete PDF of my book Gremlins & Goats: Shedding Shame

   • Interactive worksheets

   • Guided meditations

   • Everything I teach my private clients

3. Ready for transformation → Limited spots are open for my in-person therapy intensive in Oklahoma City. Small group, deep immersive work. If you’re done carrying this alone, DM me “INTENSIVE” or visit LighthouseOKC.com for details.

You are not broken. You are human. Battle-scarred, yes. But whole. Worthy. And so very capable of healing.

The goat is louder. Let’s bleat together.

With love and a loud Shaaa-ame,

Lexie 🐐

P.S. What’s one scar you’re grateful for today? Share in the comments—I read every one.