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Do You Feel Like You're "Too Much"? How to Silence the Shame Voice That Makes You Hide Your Emotions


Have you ever swallowed tears at a funeral—because crying too hard would make you a burden? Or refused to ask for help, even when you felt like you were drowning—because needing anything felt like being "too much"?


If that just hit home, keep reading. You're not alone, and this is for you.


Hi, I'm Lexie Loman, licensed therapist and host of the Thinking Out Loud podcast. In the latest episode, we meet "Too Much Tina"—the inner shame gremlin who hands you a dimmer switch and whispers, "Turn it down, or they'll leave."


Nobody ever told me I was too much. I told myself that story somewhere along the way. I built a belief that strong emotions—sadness, fear, anxiety, even joy—weren't allowed. If I showed them, I'd be weak. So I hid my tears (even at funerals, the one place you're supposed to fall apart).


I refused help.


I became the "strong one" who never needed anything.


Tina convinced me emotions were problems to manage, not human experiences to feel.

But here's the turning point—and the tool that changed everything.


The Birth of the Goat

Picture this: I'm dating my now-husband, passionately explaining shame and mindfulness to him (probably for the hundredth time) in a little pizza place in Silverton, Colorado. Mid-rant, he interrupts: "You know your mom's goats? It's like they're trying to tell you something... they keep saying shaaa-ame."


I nearly spit out my drink laughing. In that moment, the goat mindfulness tool was born (and inspired my first book, Gremlins and Goats: Shedding Shame, available on Amazon).

Now, when Too Much Tina starts her "don't cry, don't need, don't feel" monologue, I bleat "shaaa-ame!" to call out the lie... then drop a big truth bomb: "I'm allowed to feel. I'm human, and humans have emotions."


Then? I do the opposite on purpose: cry louder, ask for help, take up space.


This simple practice built more emotional stability and gratitude than years of forcing myself to "be strong." When hard emotions show up now, I let myself feel them—even if tears come. No judgment. And they pass so much faster than when shame was in control.

These days, I'm grateful for the full human experience—even the hard parts.


Too Much Tina Makes You Feel Like A Burden
Too Much Tina Makes You Feel Like A Burden

How Does Too Much Tina Show Up for You? 

Maybe you:

  • Apologize for crying in therapy (to your own therapist—I've heard "sorry" mid-tears more times than I can count)

  • Say "I'm sorry" when someone else bumps into you

  • Hold back excitement about good news so you don't "brag"

  • Refuse help with groceries, furniture, or even raising your kids ("I should do it myself")

  • Smile and say "I'm fine" when everything inside is screaming—because needing support feels like being a burden


Sound familiar?


Next time that gremlin voice pipes up, try this: Bleat "shaaa-ame!" Then drop a truth bomb and make it a goat-ish day.


You're human.


It's okay to cry, feel deeply, get excited, and celebrate wins.


You don't have to apologize for other people's actions.


You don't have to carry everything alone.


You. Are. Enough.


If Too Much Tina feels like the loudest voice right now, start starving her today with my completely FREE Gremlins & Goats Quiz. You'll get instant results plus a 7-day email sequence to build shame resilience: lighthouseokc.com/quiz


You deserve to feel freely—without dimming your light.


Ready for more? Listen to the full "Too Much Tina" episode of Thinking Out Loud wherever you get podcasts.


Next up: we meet "Never Enough Nancy" and learn how to finally rest without guilt.


Until then—make it a goat-ish day. 🐐


Lexie

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